07-10-2012, 07:49 AM | #1 |
Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 96,463
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Girls...a primer in how to drive your boyfriend away..
If some of you ladies want to know how you can suck the life out of your
relationship and drive your boyfriend to insanity, or to the bar, or into the arms of another woman, or just shrivel him up into a conquered quail who inwardly loathes you as he dies a slow, emotionally tortuous death, well then . . . this is your lucky day. Here are 10 surefire principles that’ll make your boyfriend more miserable than Donald Trump forced to watch Rosie river dance naked. 1. Nag your boyfriend. One way to torture your S.O. is to be a nerve grating, contentious, non-stop dripping faucet of faultfinding and finger pointing. 2. Criticize your boyfriend in public. Yep, publicly shame him. Become an expert at unveiling anything about your S.O. that’ll cause him to want to jump in front of a speeding bus. 3. Keep Him On a Short Leash. By short leashing your S.O. with insane limits your man will quickly feel like a stupid son, controlled by you, his new petulant mommy. 4. Become a Drama Queen. Make the atmosphere of your home tense. Make it crazy. I mean … crazy. 5. Hate his Friends. Sever the ties your companion has with those who have walked to hell and back with him because now . . . it’s all about you. You especially want to steer him clear of friends who feel the liberty to shed light on you, the interesting wife. 6. Hate his hobby. Your goal is to joy steal any pleasure that can be had by the poor schlep. And anyways you don’t want him to enjoy anything that you don’t like. [take away fishing pole] 7. Cut him off sexually. It’s not enough to rag and ridicule him and then run his friends off. No, you must go the second mile and turn into the Sex Nazi. No sex for you! 8. Get your family involved in your relationship. Forget this leave and cleave stuff the Bible dictates. If you want your union to unravel then you’ve got to gang tackle your husband with “The Family.” 9. Never apologize. If, in the odd event you do something that hurts your S.O. never, I mean never, apologize. You . . . apologize? Please. 10. Do we really need a number 10?
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Our forefathers would have already been shooting...by now. "Let your plans be dark and as impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt." "Violence of action means the unrestricted use of speed,strength, surprise and aggression to achieve total dominance against your enemy...any fighting technique is useless unless you totally commit to violence of action."Burning huts in commy vills worldwide since 1968
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07-10-2012, 08:12 AM | #2 |
Mystic Knight of the Sea
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The Great Swamp
Posts: 81,967
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I know a guy whose wife fits that description to a "T".
I just learned about a month ago that he left her and took off to parts unknown with another woman. I saw a post that his wife made on Facebook. She was crying and bawling and said "How could he be so mean as to do this to me?" I was very fortunate in that my wife wasn't like that at all.
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.................................................. ....................................… We have met the enemy, and he is us! |
07-10-2012, 08:16 AM | #3 |
slug
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Stover, Missouri
Posts: 33,622
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I too, am very fortunate to have the best wife a guy could have.
I count my blessings daily. Brian
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3 Here at the Dirty Dozen's Bunker, we have no problems, only solutions.
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07-10-2012, 08:38 AM | #4 |
Mzungu
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: In the land of socialist nepotism and corruption.
Posts: 6,340
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------------------------------------------- Cut along dotted line, discard top part. |
07-10-2012, 08:58 AM | #5 |
Moderator
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Posts: 66,447
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Dang, that describes my ex to a "T".
My new wife is the opposite.
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"The truly dangerous man dresses inconspicuously and is soft- spoken. He walks away from most confrontations. The only time you learn that the truly dangerous man is mad at you is a split second before you die, for he never fights. He only kills. The truly dangerous man knows that fighting is what children do and killing is what men do." - Charley Reese 1986
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07-10-2012, 09:14 AM | #6 |
Banned
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: The Greatest State in the union ARIZONA, we will check your "papers" "
Posts: 3,102
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actually my friends it could work both ways.., my X fit that scenario to a "Tee" #10 would make false accusations of ________________ and _______________ (fill in the blanks)
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"If you can't make them see the light, let them feel the heat", Ronald Wilson Reagan |
07-10-2012, 09:21 AM | #7 |
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: E-Da-How
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I knew a few of those, but was smart enough NOT to marry the bitches.
The ones I did marry were easily dealt with. But, out of the five, this last one is a keeper! |
07-10-2012, 09:34 AM | #8 |
slug
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Stover, Missouri
Posts: 33,622
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07-10-2012, 11:20 AM | #9 | |
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Texlahoma
Posts: 764
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Quote:
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"Take what you can carry.. burn the rest .. " I stand with Israel je suis un déplorable ! |
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07-10-2012, 11:32 AM | #10 |
Fake Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: PNW
Posts: 39,176
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I know several people that I cant understand why they are still married to their witch
I guess some people enjoy misery
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07-10-2012, 12:29 PM | #11 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 66,849
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Items 1 - 9 would definitely do the trick.
I knew one such marriage but he paid zero attention to her, lived his own life excluding her. He passed away a few years ago, wounder if she ever figured out where all his money and belonging were? Some ended up with his younger brother, all the stuff he had at our home anyway. The bitch took control his last year of life, isolated him from friends and family. Hope she's happy with her miserable life. |
07-10-2012, 01:28 PM | #12 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Rhome Texas Wise County
Posts: 2,668
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My first was really like that. I quit boning her and tried to bone every female I could.
Then I divorced her. My second started the same and I threw her out the door after 2 1/2 months.
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Youth And Brawn Are No Match For Age And Treachery. I'm Old And Might Not Fight You. I'll Shoot Instead, USMC 1959/1963 3% The sun shines bright in the old Kentucky home, 'Tis summer, the darkies are gay, |
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