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Chaplains Corner A place to discuss religion, personal problems, or to request advise from someone who will listen and provide moral support.

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Old 12-26-2014, 06:43 AM   #1
DirtySteve
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Default My wife moved out

At least temporarily, I want to make things work, but she's convinced it can't. We have a 9 month old son. There's never been any type of abuse at all, simply abrasiveness due to my paycut starting back in July. We just agreed to informal custody, but I'm still hopeful that counseling might help. I have retooled how I interact with her and household chores, but she's so upset that it took me so long. What should I do in the meantime?
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Old 12-26-2014, 07:07 AM   #2
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financial troubles can create havoc in some marriages, try counseling maybe.

I mean, I'm sorry for saying this but when a woman moves out, there is probably more than one issue.
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Old 12-26-2014, 07:17 AM   #3
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I'm sorry for your difficulties
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Old 12-26-2014, 07:23 AM   #4
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Sorry to hear that Steve. Ah hell tell her not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out. Stop blaming yourself.
Move another Chick in right away, that always really pisses them off.
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Old 12-26-2014, 08:49 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DirtySteve View Post
At least temporarily, I want to make things work, but she's convinced it can't. We have a 9 month old son. There's never been any type of abuse at all, simply abrasiveness due to my paycut starting back in July. We just agreed to informal custody, but I'm still hopeful that counseling might help. I have retooled how I interact with her and household chores, but she's so upset that it took me so long. What should I do in the meantime?
Solidify custody of your son would be the first thing that comes to mind...
Things may work out, but women tend to view children as a weapon in situations like these. For a son, the most important thing he can have, next to two parents working together, is his father.
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Old 12-26-2014, 09:23 AM   #6
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I'm a poor example to ask for matrimonial suggestions.
I'll keep my mouth shut.
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Old 12-26-2014, 11:53 AM   #7
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Quote:
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I'm a poor example to ask for matrimonial suggestions.
I'll keep my mouth shut.


Good Luck!

Regards,
...
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Old 12-26-2014, 12:48 PM   #8
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I'm a poor example to ask for matrimonial suggestions.
I'll keep my mouth shut.
+1
But keep the faith and become a better listener then a speaker.
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Old 12-26-2014, 02:24 PM   #9
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What should I do in the meantime?
All you can do now, is try to keep everything as amicable as possible, wait it out, and see if she comes around.

A marriage takes two people working together. You said that she's convinced that it won't work out. If that's the case, then it may be over.

My wife and I have been married over 28 years. It hasn't all been easy.
We have separated twice, once for just over 6 months back in 94. Difference may be that neither one of us gave up; just couldn't live together at the time, and needed time to think and regroup.

If you feel it's needed and may help, offer to go to marriage counseling with her. Hopefully she'll be open to the idea.

Keep your head up, and good luck.
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Old 12-26-2014, 03:06 PM   #10
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Check this link....http://marriage-encounter.org/
Yes, it is religious based and several churches of different faiths put these on.
They do work.

We just celebrated 50 years last month and no it is not always easy. There are many good days and some bad days.......One needs to learn to keep your anger in check and resolve what ever the issue may be. Bite your tongue as necessary, time does heal most issues! Marriage is a lot like an alcoholic, first thing is each one has to admit to themselves they have an issue.

Good luck!
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Old 12-26-2014, 03:25 PM   #11
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Hope for the best but plan for the worse

Take notice of your checking account and

Credit Cards...A vindictive woman can ruin you

But what actions you take can drive her away

but she will use anything you do against you...
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Old 12-26-2014, 03:46 PM   #12
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Money was the biggest thing my first wife and I argued about. She left when our son was just six months old. Marital/relationship advice can be a funny thing and not something I dispense with freely. What might have worked for some may not work for others. Hang in there bud.

Second go around has been a lot better for me. Going on 21 years now. There's been rough patches and moments...like there will be. But nothing that's been bad enough to throw a wrench in the works.
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Old 12-26-2014, 08:09 PM   #13
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Dude that sucks!
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Old 12-26-2014, 08:34 PM   #14
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counseling perhaps, slush fund, escape plan without a doubt. sorry you're dealing with this.
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Old 12-26-2014, 08:58 PM   #15
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Sorry to hear this Steve.

Loosing a job maybe ... but salary cut back is out of your control.

That don't wash ...

Above all do not grovel to a woman ... she'll do what she wants.

I'd be giving serious thought to weather I want her back ... but that's me ... I've never been good at taking bull shit and liking it or gracefully excepting it.

BTW we have been married over 45 years ... we've had lows and highs ... that's the way life works.

Hope to hell she doesn't believe in story book romance ... that's fiction.
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