E-Mail From the Grave

Preacher · 03-24-2006, 06:09 PM

[FONT=Arial]A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read ...[/FONT]

[FONT=Courier New]To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004
Message: I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here[/FONT]

Zane Zackerly · 03-24-2006, 06:10 PM

That's chilling and funny at the same time, Preach.

(Sounds like something I'd post.)

partssman · 03-24-2006, 06:19 PM

What about the fellar who died and got ot heaven and St.Peter tod him to enter in he must spell a word and if done right, he'd let him in. Fellar says no problem....St.Peter says your word is love...Fellar says man that's easy...l-o-v-e. St Peter says you're right...enter in.

The guy walks thru the gate and St. Peter tells him, look watch the gate for me and if anybody shows up ...just have em spell a word....I have to go to the bathroom. Fellar says no problem, I'll take care of it...

Lo and behold but who should show up ....his wife. He tells her, you must spell a word to get it....she says okay....he says spell CZECHOSLOVAKIA

Preacher · 03-24-2006, 06:52 PM

A Carpenter, a

, and a Politician are ready to enter into Heaven and St. Peter welcomed them, but told them there would be a short wait because the Pearly Gates were broken.

The Carpenter looks at the gate and said "I can fix this gate for $10." St. Peter asked him how he arrived at his price. Carpenter answered "Well, the hinges are busted. A new set of hinges are $5, and I'd like to have $5 for my labor."

Then St. Peter figured he's shop around for a bargain and asked the preacher how much he would charge.

looked at the gate and said "I'd like to have $30 for fixing the gate." St. Peter asked him how he arrived at his price and the preacher said "Well, the widow, the orphans, and the homeless are all in desperate need of money. And I'd like to take this money from fixing the gate and give them $10 each."

Then St. Peter asked the Politician. The Politician spoke up loudly and proudly "I can fix these gates for the minimal cost of $210." St. Peter was kind of surprised. He could understand the preacher's higher cost because of the good intentions behind his effort. So St. Peter asked the Politician how he arrived at his price. The Politician pulled St. Peter off to the side and whispered in his ear, "A $100 for you, a $100 for me, and $10 to get the Carpenter to fix it."

Raven · 03-24-2006, 07:29 PM

, the last line in your from the grave joke made me laugh out loud!!!

Sure is hot down here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raven · 03-24-2006, 07:37 PM

Three nuns arrived at the Pearly Gates to find St. Peter. Well sisters welcome to Heaven!!! I have special orders from the Man in charge to let you have 30 days back on Earth...as anyone you want to be! This is for being Faithful and upholding your vows! No Questions Asked!!!

The first nun says I want to go back as Sophia Loren...POOF she was gone!

The secound nun said I want to go back as Madonna..the singer...POOF she was gone!

The third nun said she wanted to go back as Sara Pipalinee... St. Peter searched thru his book and said, I'm sorry I can't find anyone by that name. So he looked again with the same result. Perplexed the nun said, Sure,sure there is just look at this newspaper article!!! St.Peter snickered and laughed and said, No No sister, this says" Sahara Pipeline Layed in Record Time By 1400 construction workers!!!

9teen11 · 03-24-2006, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raven

The first nun says I want to go back as Sophia Loren...POOF she was gone!

The secound nun said I want to go back as Madonna..the singer...POOF she was gone!

Are we allowed to say "poof" on this board????

03-24-2006, 06:09 PM	#1
Preacher Chaplain/Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: West Virginia Posts: 11,321	E-Mail From the Grave [FONT=Arial]A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read ...[/FONT] [FONT=Courier New]To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: October 16, 2004 Message: I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. Sure is hot down here[/FONT]

03-24-2006, 06:52 PM	#4
Preacher Chaplain/Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: West Virginia Posts: 11,321	A Carpenter, a , and a Politician are ready to enter into Heaven and St. Peter welcomed them, but told them there would be a short wait because the Pearly Gates were broken. The Carpenter looks at the gate and said "I can fix this gate for $10." St. Peter asked him how he arrived at his price. Carpenter answered "Well, the hinges are busted. A new set of hinges are $5, and I'd like to have $5 for my labor." Then St. Peter figured he's shop around for a bargain and asked the preacher how much he would charge. looked at the gate and said "I'd like to have $30 for fixing the gate." St. Peter asked him how he arrived at his price and the preacher said "Well, the widow, the orphans, and the homeless are all in desperate need of money. And I'd like to take this money from fixing the gate and give them $10 each." Then St. Peter asked the Politician. The Politician spoke up loudly and proudly "I can fix these gates for the minimal cost of $210." St. Peter was kind of surprised. He could understand the preacher's higher cost because of the good intentions behind his effort. So St. Peter asked the Politician how he arrived at his price. The Politician pulled St. Peter off to the side and whispered in his ear, "A $100 for you, a $100 for me, and $10 to get the Carpenter to fix it." __________________ You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth, or we will sentence them to take the first step into a thousand years of darkness. If we fail, at least let our children and our children's children say of us we justified our brief moment here. We did all that could be done. Ronald Reagan - 1964 ------------------------------------- Bunker Member #4.

03-24-2006, 06:10 PM	#2
Zane Zackerly The Mad Messenger Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: The Great State of Insanity Posts: 4,222	That's chilling and funny at the same time, Preach. (Sounds like something I'd post.)

03-24-2006, 06:19 PM	#3
partssman Redneck Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Reedy Creek, NC Posts: 9,140	What about the fellar who died and got ot heaven and St.Peter tod him to enter in he must spell a word and if done right, he'd let him in. Fellar says no problem....St.Peter says your word is love...Fellar says man that's easy...l-o-v-e. St Peter says you're right...enter in. The guy walks thru the gate and St. Peter tells him, look watch the gate for me and if anybody shows up ...just have em spell a word....I have to go to the bathroom. Fellar says no problem, I'll take care of it... Lo and behold but who should show up ....his wife. He tells her, you must spell a word to get it....she says okay....he says spell CZECHOSLOVAKIA

03-24-2006, 07:29 PM	#5
Raven Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: The Eastern Panhandle of West by God Virginia Posts: 862	, the last line in your from the grave joke made me laugh out loud!!! Sure is hot down here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

03-24-2006, 07:37 PM	#6
Raven Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: The Eastern Panhandle of West by God Virginia Posts: 862	Three nuns arrived at the Pearly Gates to find St. Peter. Well sisters welcome to Heaven!!! I have special orders from the Man in charge to let you have 30 days back on Earth...as anyone you want to be! This is for being Faithful and upholding your vows! No Questions Asked!!! The first nun says I want to go back as Sophia Loren...POOF she was gone! The secound nun said I want to go back as Madonna..the singer...POOF she was gone! The third nun said she wanted to go back as Sara Pipalinee... St. Peter searched thru his book and said, I'm sorry I can't find anyone by that name. So he looked again with the same result. Perplexed the nun said, Sure,sure there is just look at this newspaper article!!! St.Peter snickered and laughed and said, No No sister, this says" Sahara Pipeline Layed in Record Time By 1400 construction workers!!!