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Chaplains Corner A place to discuss religion, personal problems, or to request advise from someone who will listen and provide moral support. |
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12-26-2014, 06:43 AM | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,798
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My wife moved out
At least temporarily, I want to make things work, but she's convinced it can't. We have a 9 month old son. There's never been any type of abuse at all, simply abrasiveness due to my paycut starting back in July. We just agreed to informal custody, but I'm still hopeful that counseling might help. I have retooled how I interact with her and household chores, but she's so upset that it took me so long. What should I do in the meantime?
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12-26-2014, 07:07 AM | #2 |
unum de multis
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Bunker's Headquarters.
Posts: 52,231
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financial troubles can create havoc in some marriages, try counseling maybe.
I mean, I'm sorry for saying this but when a woman moves out, there is probably more than one issue.
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"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem." Pesident Ronald Reagan |
12-26-2014, 07:17 AM | #3 |
slug
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: swampeastmissouri
Posts: 50,849
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I'm sorry for your difficulties
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12-26-2014, 07:23 AM | #4 |
slug
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Astor Florida
Posts: 48,283
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Sorry to hear that Steve. Ah hell tell her not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out. Stop blaming yourself.
Move another Chick in right away, that always really pisses them off.
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12-26-2014, 08:49 AM | #5 | |
King of S'marm
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mid-Missouri
Posts: 4,486
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Quote:
Things may work out, but women tend to view children as a weapon in situations like these. For a son, the most important thing he can have, next to two parents working together, is his father.
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“But rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add ‘within the limits of the law’ because law is often but the tyrant’s will, and always so when it violates the rights of the individual.” ~ Thomas Jefferson to Issac Tiffany, 1816 |
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12-26-2014, 09:23 AM | #6 |
Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: E-Da-How
Posts: 137,846
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I'm a poor example to ask for matrimonial suggestions.
I'll keep my mouth shut. |
12-26-2014, 11:53 AM | #7 |
KaBoom Kontrol Modulator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Colorado, Western Slope
Posts: 16,229
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12-26-2014, 12:48 PM | #8 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,641
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12-26-2014, 02:24 PM | #9 |
Coonass Crusader
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: backwoods of south Louisiana
Posts: 4,484
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All you can do now, is try to keep everything as amicable as possible, wait it out, and see if she comes around.
A marriage takes two people working together. You said that she's convinced that it won't work out. If that's the case, then it may be over. My wife and I have been married over 28 years. It hasn't all been easy. We have separated twice, once for just over 6 months back in 94. Difference may be that neither one of us gave up; just couldn't live together at the time, and needed time to think and regroup. If you feel it's needed and may help, offer to go to marriage counseling with her. Hopefully she'll be open to the idea. Keep your head up, and good luck.
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I do not believe that the Democrats are single-handedly destroying this country. I know that they, like the Republicans, are using both hands! III DEO VINDICE |
12-26-2014, 03:06 PM | #10 |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Central Orygun
Posts: 4,372
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Check this link....http://marriage-encounter.org/
Yes, it is religious based and several churches of different faiths put these on. They do work. We just celebrated 50 years last month and no it is not always easy. There are many good days and some bad days.......One needs to learn to keep your anger in check and resolve what ever the issue may be. Bite your tongue as necessary, time does heal most issues! Marriage is a lot like an alcoholic, first thing is each one has to admit to themselves they have an issue. Good luck! |
12-26-2014, 03:25 PM | #11 |
slug
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: swampeastmissouri
Posts: 50,849
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Hope for the best but plan for the worse
Take notice of your checking account and Credit Cards...A vindictive woman can ruin you But what actions you take can drive her away but she will use anything you do against you... |
12-26-2014, 03:46 PM | #12 |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,952
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Money was the biggest thing my first wife and I argued about. She left when our son was just six months old. Marital/relationship advice can be a funny thing and not something I dispense with freely. What might have worked for some may not work for others. Hang in there bud.
Second go around has been a lot better for me. Going on 21 years now. There's been rough patches and moments...like there will be. But nothing that's been bad enough to throw a wrench in the works. |
12-26-2014, 08:09 PM | #13 |
slug
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Out by the lake in central Texas
Posts: 18,271
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Dude that sucks!
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12-26-2014, 08:34 PM | #14 |
Constitutional bigot
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,812
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counseling perhaps, slush fund, escape plan without a doubt. sorry you're dealing with this.
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12-26-2014, 08:58 PM | #15 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 66,849
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Sorry to hear this Steve.
Loosing a job maybe ... but salary cut back is out of your control. That don't wash ... Above all do not grovel to a woman ... she'll do what she wants. I'd be giving serious thought to weather I want her back ... but that's me ... I've never been good at taking bull shit and liking it or gracefully excepting it. BTW we have been married over 45 years ... we've had lows and highs ... that's the way life works. Hope to hell she doesn't believe in story book romance ... that's fiction. |
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