11-03-2018, 04:01 AM | #1 |
slug
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Astor Florida
Posts: 48,440
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03:30 hours I just punched a bear in the face.
No I am NOT kidding. Sitting here at the computer and I hear someone at the back door WTF over. I look out and am face to face through the glass with a frigging 500 lb. black bear.
I cracked the door open a bit and said get gone bear go. The bear tries to frigging come in the kitchen put its snout IN the door opening. Holy sheeeet bat man. I give him my best Chuck Norris karate chop to the head and slam the door. Swear to God it just looks at me like that all you got. I had brought the dog food in and put it by the kitchen door and he must have smelled it. These bears have lost ALL fear of humans. I have to have my bud help me put up the game cameras tomorrow. I am NOT going outside till the sun rises.
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God Bless Americas Veterans. All who are serving and have served. |
11-03-2018, 04:56 AM | #2 |
Miserable Bastard
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: USSA
Posts: 833
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You punched a bear in the face?
Damn, son. You must have brass balls. I'd have at least used a baseball bat. Or a shotgun stock. Or maybe a Barrett 50 BMG... Dangerous situation when they have no fear of people and smell food in your house during winter. Good luck and enjoy to bear skin rug.
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Somebody go back and get a shit load of dimes. |
11-03-2018, 05:07 AM | #3 |
Massa di Avatars
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In another Galaxy, another dimension, another time
Posts: 25,604
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...Dam Tim...how rude,...Yogi just wanted to come in,...have some coffee...maybe get you to make some pan cakes....
...I'll never come visit if thats how you treat guest... ....and shit. .
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. One person says something stupid, and the other stupid people hear him, and the next thing you know, you're getting tortured in a gulag. Welcome to democracy, where your rights depend on the howling of the mob. . |
11-03-2018, 05:07 AM | #4 |
PERMANENTLY BANNED
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,082
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Good one mate! I'd say the bear got off light!
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11-03-2018, 05:39 AM | #5 |
Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 96,481
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Why are you being so MEAN to an immigrant bear who just wants to come in his new house and eat your food?
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Our forefathers would have already been shooting...by now. "Let your plans be dark and as impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt." "Violence of action means the unrestricted use of speed,strength, surprise and aggression to achieve total dominance against your enemy...any fighting technique is useless unless you totally commit to violence of action."Burning huts in commy vills worldwide since 1968
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11-03-2018, 05:52 AM | #6 |
unum de multis
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Bunker's Headquarters.
Posts: 52,437
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I believe you, but I bet he was just looking for some coffee.
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"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem." Pesident Ronald Reagan |
11-03-2018, 06:18 AM | #7 |
slug
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ice Station Zebra
Posts: 15,403
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You need to be a little more accepting and diverse. And since it was black, you obviously are an outright racist!
You need to sit down and think about that young man. Tim, you have a lot of things to work on. |
11-03-2018, 07:15 AM | #8 | |
Massa di Avatars
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In another Galaxy, another dimension, another time
Posts: 25,604
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Quote:
....Dam Bill,... I am torn,..don't know if I should report Tim to the NAACP, SPLC, and Rev Al,...or call PETA on him... ....what to do,...what to do... ....won't someone do something for the kids....Who will this bullie from the swamps pick on next...?...puppys, gold fish,...refugees.... .....if ...only anal jelly was here to give him a good talking to...on coddling those darker then us... . . |
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11-03-2018, 07:32 AM | #9 |
slug
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: swampeastmissouri
Posts: 50,955
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Y’all got this all wrong...
The bear just wanted to get on ‘puter to checkout the with 4th Add: Maybe he wanted to get ahold of Ten BEARS on that ‘puter... |
11-03-2018, 07:45 AM | #10 |
unum de multis
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Bunker's Headquarters.
Posts: 52,437
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11-03-2018, 07:59 AM | #11 |
slug
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Astor Florida
Posts: 48,440
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Somebody has to be tossing this damn thing food as it really did try to stick its huge head in the damn door. Normally when its going through my garbage I start yelling and toss something at it and ii runs.
I quietly opened the door and it didn't run just stuck its head in the little bit I opened the door. Damn these things are huge when your right next to them. Game cameras going up today for the non believers. If I don't post he got me. He is a bit bigger than this one but black. |
11-03-2018, 08:02 AM | #12 | |
Miserable Bastard
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: USSA
Posts: 833
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Quote:
I think I read somewhere about a course at some college that might be able to help you. |
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11-03-2018, 08:13 AM | #13 | |
Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: E-Da-How
Posts: 137,846
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Quote:
Do not, I repeat do NOT give him/her my address! I don't associate with blacks of any kind. |
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11-03-2018, 08:17 AM | #14 |
Soldier of Allah
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Crackerland
Posts: 31,662
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You should put out a plate of chitlins to make him feel welcome.
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Racism will keep you alive. |
11-03-2018, 08:58 AM | #15 |
Fake Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: PNW
Posts: 39,205
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Didnt you say you fed one last week?
Shoot a shot gun at them, at least to scare them off with the bang
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