What deep things retired men think about....

[dinkydow]

I mowed the lawn earlier today, and after doing so I sat down in the shade and had an ice cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My girl friend walked up and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."

She then said that’s what you did yesterday—to which I replied—I WASN’T DONE, THEN, SO RIGHT NOW I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF FINISHING UP ON IT.

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to many, many other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is a woman giving birth in more pain than a man getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? They don't have nuts to be kicked. Right?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is far more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another hard kick right in the nuts."

I rest my case. Time for another cold beer, or three, and then maybe a nice long nappy.

[Diesel 88888888]

[Pogo]

True.

[cerberus]

Originally Posted by dinkydow

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to many, many other questions.

For a while I would ask the other half, 'What answer would you take that would bring this conversation to the quickest close?"
I've had to tell her, 'Don't tell me shit'. [B]UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO 'FIX' IT[B]. I'm not your sister, daughter, girlfriend or sumdumkunt you work with.
Several times a week I go to a local auto shop where I'm part of the fixtures and family. (a 20+ year association) There are better questions asked and smarter answers given during our lunches, BY KNUCKLE-DRAGGING NEANDERTHAL WRENCH TURNERS than what I've heard at the nightly coffee klatches at our dining room table.
cerberus

[aviator]

Damn right!

[Diesel 88888888]

Originally Posted by cerberus

For a while I would ask the other half, 'What answer would you take that would bring this conversation to the quickest close?"
I've had to tell her, 'Don't tell me shit'. [B]UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO 'FIX' IT[B]. I'm not your sister, daughter, girlfriend or sumdumkunt you work with.
Several times a week I go to a local auto shop where I'm part of the fixtures and family. (a 20+ year association) There are better questions asked and smarter answers given during our lunches, BY KNUCKLE-DRAGGING NEANDERTHAL WRENCH TURNERS than what I've heard at the nightly coffee klatches at our dining room table.
cerberus

U just being hateful and alls wid all dat truthful stuff wif d womens & all...yes, they B fun and all and that's why "vagina rimes with fun" but hate to b told such truths!

[500grains]

[500grains]