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Chaplains Corner A place to discuss religion, personal problems, or to request advise from someone who will listen and provide moral support. |
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11-03-2009, 09:13 AM | #16 | |
unum de multis
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Bunker's Headquarters.
Posts: 52,231
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Quote:
Gravedigger, being a parent is no exact science and you have to learn on the go, do the wrong thing and she may run off to her mother.
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"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem." Pesident Ronald Reagan |
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11-03-2009, 11:04 AM | #17 |
Home on the range
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: S. Indiana
Posts: 17,281
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I applied a frequent "foot in ass" technique for my three kids when they got out of hand, but I was 'fair" about it. They soon learned the difference between right and wrong, and what proper behavior was. And they thank me to this day.
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure of the universe" -Albert Einstein- |
11-03-2009, 12:21 PM | #18 |
unum de multis
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Bunker's Headquarters.
Posts: 52,231
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Don't misunderstand me, I've done it too when a proper reaction was needed. However, not all cases require such treatment. I honestly believe oaksalas's case can be dealt with in a different way. Have yo tried talking to a counselor at school? They may know a few things we don't.
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11-03-2009, 05:00 PM | #19 |
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Upstate,SC
Posts: 70
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Thanks for listening to me and thanks for the advice.I guess
it is a day-by-day type of problem.But I am glad to hear from others who have been there,done that. Is it just a phase or are all/most kids like this? |
11-03-2009, 06:59 PM | #20 |
Chaplain/Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 11,321
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I've just been sitting back and watching this one as I am not a parent. But some good answers have been given. Normally I would lean towards Gravediggers approach, but that approach works best if it is started from the cradle.
From what I have seen, it is very hard to start middle of the stream, in any scenario. My BIL who is in his mid-teenage years is going through the same thing, but his parents also gives him every thing he wants on a silver platter. He calls his dad a no good SOB and his mom and old fat B and he just loves to go around to the male relatives and give them a jab below the belt just to laugh when they double over. Does it to his dad all the time. He did it to me once a few years ago. Notice I said once. He learned that the "laugh" was not so funny when there's smoke rolling off his hind end. To this day, this troublesome kid calls me Sir and never starts any trouble when I'm around. But as soon as I leave, he turns into a terror again. And the parents have no idea why he listens to me and not to them. But then again, they did vote for the Big "O," so it's no surprise that they have trouble figuring things out. They wanted me to take him on weekends only and straighten him out, but I said I would only do it if I got him full-time. I wasn't asking for custody, but I also didn't want to work my tail off straightening him out only to have him go home and his mother undo everything I did on the weekend. His mother upholds his every move. He was found with a bowl in his pocket, a bag of weed, white powder in his nose, and he flunked a pee test. But yet, the poor little darling was framed. I'll shut up now before I get mad and really start to typing. That is ... mad at my situation, not yours.
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You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth, or we will sentence them to take the first step into a thousand years of darkness. If we fail, at least let our children and our children's children say of us we justified our brief moment here. We did all that could be done. Ronald Reagan - 1964 Bunker Member #4. |
11-08-2009, 11:40 AM | #21 |
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Upstate,SC
Posts: 70
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Thanks for the input.We seem to be better this week.I guess it is okay until
the next "crisis" pops up.(lightheartedly)It is kind of a shame she is too old to spank!!! I think the biggest hurdle is communication.She is too young to really have any frames of referance.I say this in remembering my own teenage years.The challenge,I guess is finding a way to bridge that gap.But I do know the "talks" I have with her now may take years to sink in.Again,looking back at my own youth,my parents told me things then I thought I understood.It just took the the time for me to gain experience to relate to the framework they meant.It is funny how appearent difficulties we have with other people, makes us sometimes look at ourselves not as a source of blame,but rather to build more of a base from which to do better in the future. Again thanks... |
11-09-2009, 05:04 PM | #22 |
PERMANENTLY BANNED
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,066
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Mine are adults now, are doing well & cause me no grief.
From the beginning they had a fearful expectation of the rod of correction if the did wrong and it was applied quickly & often until the message sunk in. I was fair & consistant. There was never any doubt where things stood, there were rules - not suggestions. Teamwork was accepted as the norm, we all worked together & that was met with blessing & favour. Anything above & beyond was met with gratitude, praise & reward. Huge doses of laughing & fun & good stuff was par for the course. Time in the bush & fooling with guns & being politically incorrect. Using the inbuilt streak of rebellion in every human and chanelling it against stuff that needs be rebelled against such as libtard queer attitudes & such & undermining the authority of new age schoolteachers to strengthen our position as a family. I knew if I didnt steer it towards them first, they would steer it towards me & Id have to wear it. It was all good fun and not too hard, though Im glad that this part of life is over for me. I love their company as friends now, not humans in training. Now, if someone just handed me a teenager & said "fix this" Id say, "sorry, too late - go make another one & start from scratch". A saying I remember relative to this sort of thing went like this - "you deserve what ever you are prepared tp put up with". I figured I wouldnt put up with the crap that I saw other parents wearing & complaining about. |
07-10-2010, 05:12 PM | #23 |
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 61
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Raising Teenage Girls.
I was married to a divorced woman August 2009,she already had 2 pre-teen boys,plus a high school age girl.The girl was icy and un -cooperative,self absorbed,to her I was a intruder,not welcome.This is how she came to change for the better,we were all going somewhere in her mothers car,her mother was driving,I planned on riding shotgun.....my future step- daughter proceeds to ride shotgun before I got to the car....... thats saying sit in the back jerk,get out of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,her mother told her to sit in the back,she started throwing a fit.Me and her mom dragged her out of the car and unto the ground,throwing another fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.The youngin called her father,he was threatning to do all kinds of things to me,none of them ever happened.My future step daughter begun to see the 'Light' that day,it was some time after that,she came home to her mothers house one day and verbally told her mother that is is time to start accepting things (me) the way they are.Today,we communicate on a Stepfather to Stepdaughter level,there is no problem.
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