Retired Person's Perspective

10 Bears · 01-31-2018, 02:24 PM

Retired Person's Perspective

1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably very unhappy.

4. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.

5. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

6. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.

7. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

8. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan?

9. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.

10. Old age is not as bad as I thought. It's a good feeling when you feel happy just to wake up in the morning.

cerberus · 01-31-2018, 02:44 PM

1.) I'm glad 10 is a gentleman. But me? I say let's kill all the stoopid people. Just ridding ourselves of the smokes will raise the country's IQ by at least 20 points.
7.) My dad and I take that one personally.
8.) I take a Mod36 into the bathroom whether I'm peeing or showering.
cerberus

kostner · 01-31-2018, 02:59 PM

8.) I take a Mod36 into the bathroom whether I'm peeing or showering.
cerberus. Thought I was the only one that did that!

44044 · 01-31-2018, 07:17 PM

Good ones Sirs...

Stalky · 01-31-2018, 08:21 PM

I survived #3. Bitch. Showering? It's a model 642 on the soap dish.
I can piss on it to clean it up.dat is #8.

Rick-a-Roo · 01-31-2018, 10:13 PM

Being old ain't bad...it's the getting there that's the bitch!

44044 · 01-31-2018, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stalky

I survived #3. Bitch. Showering? It's a model 642 on the soap dish.
I can piss on it to clean it up.dat is #8.

#3 is bad...been there, the hammer

was back and it had about a 3 pound

trigger...hammer fell between my

thumb and forefinger...and yes it

was a Ruger .44 magnum...

She left...

cerberus · 02-01-2018, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stalky

I survived #3. Bitch.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 44044

#3 is bad...been there, the hammer
was back and it had about a 3 pound
trigger...hammer fell between my
thumb and forefinger...and yes it
was a Ruger .44 magnum...She left...

Jeez, I thought I knew some interesting women. At least mine only tried to run me over.
cerberus

Bluntforce · 02-01-2018, 12:52 AM

#3 happened to me too.

01-31-2018, 02:24 PM	#1
10 Bears Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: E-Da-How Posts: 137,846	Retired Person's Perspective Retired Person's Perspective 1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. 2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. 3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably very unhappy. 4. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body. 5. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom. 6. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row. 7. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning. 8. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan? 9. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege. 10. Old age is not as bad as I thought. It's a good feeling when you feel happy just to wake up in the morning.

01-31-2018, 10:13 PM	#6
Rick-a-Roo Gaw' Blimey Limey Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Round behind the sleazy bars of Telephone Road Posts: 25,878	Being old ain't bad...it's the getting there that's the bitch! __________________ zulu6 out

02-01-2018, 12:52 AM	#9
Bluntforce slug Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Allturd State Posts: 21,867	#3 happened to me too. __________________

01-31-2018, 02:44 PM	#2
cerberus Dud Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 2,507	1.) I'm glad 10 is a gentleman. But me? I say let's kill all the stoopid people. Just ridding ourselves of the smokes will raise the country's IQ by at least 20 points. 7.) My dad and I take that one personally. 8.) I take a Mod36 into the bathroom whether I'm peeing or showering. cerberus

01-31-2018, 02:59 PM	#3
kostner Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1,641	8.) I take a Mod36 into the bathroom whether I'm peeing or showering. cerberus. Thought I was the only one that did that!

01-31-2018, 07:17 PM	#4
44044 slug Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: swampeastmissouri Posts: 50,930	Good ones Sirs...

01-31-2018, 08:21 PM	#5
Stalky Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 8,076	I survived #3. Bitch. Showering? It's a model 642 on the soap dish. I can piss on it to clean it up.dat is #8.