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Chaplains Corner A place to discuss religion, personal problems, or to request advise from someone who will listen and provide moral support. |
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04-18-2014, 09:01 AM | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,932
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"My son, I'm here to discuss your transgressions, not your community service.”
A Man walks into a Washington, D.C., Catholic Church Confessional, and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the shit out of a congressman.”
The priest replies, "My son, I'm here to discuss your transgressions, not your community service.”
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Gun control defined: The theory that people who are willing to ignore laws against theft, torture, kidnapping, rape, and murder but will obey a law which prohibits them from owning a firearm. "I love this country, it's the government I'm afraid of" |
04-18-2014, 09:27 AM | #2 |
Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: E-Da-How
Posts: 137,846
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"Community Service!" Yep, that is what that would be!
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04-18-2014, 12:11 PM | #3 |
slug
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: swampeastmissouri
Posts: 50,920
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That's a good guy...
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04-18-2014, 02:19 PM | #4 |
unum de multis
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Bunker's Headquarters.
Posts: 52,367
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Just the other day a "holy roller" told me to go into confession, I said, look bud, I've broken every commandment there is, all ten of them, no way a man can help me. I turned around and left he just stood there not knowing what to say.
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"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem." Pesident Ronald Reagan |
04-19-2014, 09:21 AM | #5 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,932
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Here's another -
How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of sanity in retirement. 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars...watch 'em slow down! 2. On all your check stubs, write 'for marijuana'! 3. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get. 4. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 5. Sing along at the opera. 6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won! I won!' 7. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling 'run for your lives! They're loose!' 8. Tell your children over dinner: 'due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go... 9. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: my favorite. 10. Go to a large department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out: “there is no paper in here”! Send this e-mail to someone to make them smile. It's called 'therapy'! |
04-19-2014, 09:56 AM | #6 | |
unum de multis
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Bunker's Headquarters.
Posts: 52,367
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Quote:
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